Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I think people are normalizing furries
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize