Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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