so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
