Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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