and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I looked at my own cervix.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
