I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
