To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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