To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
