you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
