Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
