And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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