We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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