im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
