STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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