We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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