You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
