sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
