I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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