careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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