somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
