I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize