you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
