Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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