Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
