She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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