i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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