Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
She tied me up with her honor cords...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
