i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
