Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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