I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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