Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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