Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
