I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize