So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
