the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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