If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
