My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
thus making me awesome and them whores
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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