just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
