i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
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