he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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