The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
