Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
