No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
