If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
