never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
