Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
