He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
