I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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