I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
