I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We got so high we made milksteak
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
