my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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