but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
