TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
That accounts for only three of the penises
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
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