We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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