He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
