I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
