Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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