none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize