Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize