i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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