Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
