i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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