So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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