She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
