Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
