Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize