The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
That's intense
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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