no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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