Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
