I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
