fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
