Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
