before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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