Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
