I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
